The World in Colour

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When all the world is grey,

And nothing moves or stirs

bar the plaintive voice of a bird

or hopeful stalking cat.

When dormant is nature

and the weather is harsh

and all is hibernating still.

I look to the sky for a glimmer,

I look to the earth for a sign.

Then one day, one day,

when you though it would never come,

Caps of white snowdrops emerge,

sometimes still with hats of snow.

Followed by the tentative crocus,

Violet, white and pink.

Then later still the bright yellow trumpets

Loud and true, herald that Spring is here!

It is then, only then the season turns

From grey, monochrome tones

To glorious, technicolor!

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Black Dog

NaPoWriMo: Day 7

black dog

Black Dog,

Black Cloud,

Black Hole

Deep

Bottomless

Relentless

Falling

Drowning

Screaming

Silence

Nothing

No-One

Pointless…

Resisting

Clinging

Climbing

Breathing

Hoping

Pretending

Surviving

Fighting

Smiling

Normality

Survival

This Time….

Look a Little Closer

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Can you see?

What do you see?

Do you see as much as me?

Turn down the light,

Tone down the glare,

Soften the colours

Try not to stare.

If I close my eyes

Is it still around,

The tree in the forest

Making no sound.

You cannot see

There is nothing you see

You will never see as much as me.

There is none so blind

So the proverb says

As Those that cannot see.

Moments in Time

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Sometimes you find yourself in a beautiful place,

fleeting, transient, perfect.

You cannot hold on to it, or make it last,

neither can you replay it or revisit.

The moment is unique,

one of a kind, never to be repeated.

It may be captured in a photo,

but its only a glimpse of something gone forever.

The smell, the feel,  the sound, the taste,

fleeting like a delicate butterfly.

These brief moments in time are what make life beautiful,

Don’t just look but really see, the rewards are truly unforgettable.

Do something that scares you every day! Go Skiing!

DSC_0101  Isn’t that one of those dittys/ that go around that is supossed to enhance and challenge your life? It seems a bit much  to say ‘every’ day, maybe once a week/month would be enough to stimulate the grey matter and get the endorphins circulating. However on our annual ski trip that’s exactly what happens. It scares the bejesus out of me in various degrees EVERY day!

This is my 4th year skiing, this time we are in Avoriaz and as everyone knows the older you are when you start the harder it is. We all watch in awe at the little dwarf commando skiers age no more than 7 whizzing down the slopes in a stiff upright but oh so confident manner that put us oldies to shame. However they are young, have no fear, have a very low centre of gravity which means when they fall they are pretty much already on  the floor!

I take the arbitrary ESF lessons and end up with the inevitable  crusty old french guy who churns out the standard lines every week. ‘Follow my line!’ Yeah that’s fine if you are next in line to him but 7/8 people back in the snake means you can’t see or hear him so you are pretty much on your own. If he speaks English it is a bonus. So it’s a case of go with the flow and do your best.

So day 1 – 3 is Ok (after all I have been in level 1 for 4 years!) I am cruising at the top end of the class. Then Day 4 hits and we go on steeper slopes.! The fear kicks in and all the good techniques and form are replaced by the survival/’get me to the bottom of this mountain the size of Everest at any cost’ stance = BAD!

Day 4/5 is the wobble day when I struggle with the decision of jacking it all in and spending the rest of the week in the gym/spa.
avoriaz

The afternoons are taken up with leisurely ski trips and frequent vin chaud/hot chocolate stops with the OH who has learnt (the hard way) to ply me with platitudes and to big up my skiing skills at every occasion in the deperate hope I won’t throw in the towel and leave him without a ski companion in future years. It’s a fine line!

If I get over the wobble (which I have always managed thus far) day 5/6 are challenging/scary testing lessons but (once over) Oh so exhilarating! I feel good, alive, like I cheated death again and feeling invincible!

I have made progress in small steps, I feel good about myself for holding in there and I definately did something every day that scared me! Tick!

I end the week with a sense of relief, achievement and feel good factor. I cant wait to get home to my comfort zone. Will I be here next year! Of course, it you don’t scare and stretch yourself every year/month/day you will never experience the satisfactory high of knowing you came through and conquered a fear!

I might even manage level 2 next year! Go for it!

So this is the scenario every year, and every year I get a bit better and a bit more confident, this year I tackled a red run, that must be progress.  I wasn’t too petrified.DSC_0128

I have a love hate relationship with fear, I can never let it beat me and without it life can be dull and too safe so I’ll keep to my motto: Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway! Its worth it!   DSC_0108